


flickering lights

by miiniwa



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 04:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miiniwa/pseuds/miiniwa
Summary: The things that shouldn't matter so much, like the occasional moments where their shoulders would brush against one another with each short rattle of the train, or high fiving during practice, had started to linger, leaving noticeable little pieces of warmth with him.It had left him with a multitude of after thoughts, because for Hokuto, their everyday touches might not mean that much, might just be considerednormal, but for him, it's so, so hard to forget.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i told myself that i wouldn't regret not ranking for hokuto, and yet--

_It's coming off_ , Subaru thinks to himself, staring quietly at the loose button on his uniform shirt, hanging on by just a few threads.

 

He rolls his sports jersey clothes into a ball before throwing them into his bag, sighing as he buttons his shirt up, being extremely cautious with the loose one.

 

"Akehoshi?"

 

Subaru glances up as he's pulling his hoodie out from his locker, not that surprised to see Hokuto already neatly dressed, as if they hadn't just had P.E.

 

"Almost done, Hokke!" He declares, throwing his blazer on, hands unconsciously reaching for the loose button to make sure it's still there, before he stands up.

 

"We'll be late if we don't hurry," Hokuto points out, walking out of the locker room.

 

"It's okay if it's only by a couple minutes, right?" Subaru says, catching up, and Hokuto rolls his eyes in response.

 

"Sometimes, I wish I could be as carefree as you," Hokuto sighs, and Subaru only smiles back.

 

As usual, class passes by slowly, with Subaru sleeping through nearly half of it, and Hokuto looking over his shoulder a few times, a dull expression on his face whenever he would see Subaru snoozing away.

 

"Akehoshi, do you want to come over today?"

 

Subaru looks up from his seat, a short spark in his eyes, because with their increasingly busy schedules and practices, it's been a while since they've been able to go to each other's houses.

 

_And Hokke's house always smells nice and has a lot of snacks_ , Subaru thinks to himself, feet lightly kicking at the floor in excitement.

 

"Yeah, I'll go!" Subaru answers, bright, and Hokuto stares at him, wordless, before quietly nodding in response.

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

"Welcome back," Hokuto comments, as Subaru walks into his room, freshly showered and rubbing a towel against his hair.

 

"That was seriously refreshing," Subaru sighs, satisfied as he plops down onto Hokuto's bed.

 

"Akehoshi, here," Hokuto speaks up, passing Subaru his uniform shirt, and he raises a brow, extremely confused.

 

"Huh? You're gonna make me wear my uniform to sleep?" Subaru asks, because Hokuto has always lent him clothes whenever he would stay over, and Hokuto shakes his head.

 

"I fixed the button. It was loose, right?" He points out, and when Subaru glances over, he can see a small sewing kit on his bedside table, needle still threaded.

 

"...Yeah," Subaru eventually replies, staring down at the button, looking as secure as ever, and he's sure that Hokuto's grandmother had likely taught him the basics of sewing, maybe years ago.

 

"Thanks, Hokke," Subaru continues, turning to smile at him, and Hokuto smiles back, unaware of the light fluttering in Subaru's chest.

 

"It's nothing," Hokuto replies, putting the sewing kit away, and Subaru gazes at his back profile, imagining him carefully sewing the button back into place, probably thinking about him.

 

_Not good_ , Subaru glances away, suppressing a sigh.

 

A couple days after that, while he and Hokuto are sitting across from one another and eating lunch, Hokuto calmly reaches out and holds onto Subaru's shirt.

 

Subaru nearly chokes on the sandwich he's eating, caught off guard by Hokuto's movements.

 

"Looks like the button's going to be okay," Hokuto remarks, nodding to himself, and it takes a good amount of willpower for Subaru to keep himself from staring at him in disbelief.

 

"Yeah," Subaru says, arm moving Hokuto's hands away from his shirt, their hands brushing by just the slightest as he does so, and he flinches, his fingertips suddenly feeling hot.

 

"What is it?" Hokuto raises a brow.

 

"I think I might, uh, need another sandwich," Subaru tells him, hopping up from his seat, doing his best not to turn around as he jogs out of the classroom.

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

At two in the morning, Subaru is lying down on his back, arm stretched out forward, and eyes staring quietly at his hand.

 

His mind flickers, giving him hazy images of the look in Hokuto's eyes as he had been carefully observing the button he had sewn back into place, the way he had swept a few segments of his hair behind his ear, and how his gaze had lightly risen to meet his, surrounding him in a deep, somehow comforting blue.

 

_But it's **Hokke**_ , he sighs, hand lightly clenching when he feels his heart skip a beat.

 

_Maybe it's more like, because it's Hokke_ , he thinks, frowning as he turns onto his side.

 

In all honesty, he had tried not to notice it.

 

The things that shouldn't matter so much, like the occasional moments where their shoulders would brush against one another with each short rattle of the train, or high fiving during practice, had started to linger, leaving noticeable little pieces of warmth with him.

 

It had left him with a multitude of after thoughts, because for Hokuto, their everyday touches might not mean that much, might just be considered _normal_ , but for him, it's so, so hard to forget.

 

He squeezes his eyes shut, but he knows the light feeling in his chest, and the probably imaginary warmth he feels at his fingertips, won't fade any time soon.

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

After school, Subaru is sitting on the stairs outside the room of the class representative meeting, yawning and resting his chin against his palms.

 

Of course, despite having realized his own feelings, Subaru had decided to keep waiting for Hokuto after his meetings, because it would be too suspicious if he had chosen not to, because Hokuto would most likely realize something, and because Subaru himself would probably miss their usual walks home.

 

The door slides open, and Subaru sits up, trying not to turn around, trying not to look eager, as he continues waiting.

 

A minutes passes, as Subaru is watching the rest of the class representatives walk down the steps, and he raises a brow, wondering where Hokuto is.

 

He grabs onto his bag, preparing to stand up and walk over to the classroom himself, before Hokuto shows up at his side.

 

"Sorry, I had a few questions I had to ask," Hokuto tells him, sighing.

 

"Anyway, let's go home, Akehoshi," he continues, extending a hand towards him, and for Subaru, it seems like something close to a sudden boss battle, being forced to choose whether or not he'll reach for his hand.

 

_But I have to act normal_ , Subaru presses his lips into a tight line, mind a whirling mess of bright colors as he manages to reach over and grab onto Hokuto's hand.

 

Hokuto pulls him up, something that he's done many times before, something that should be familiar to him, but the warmth on his hand is stronger than usual, seemingly glowing, and Subaru lets go of his hand the moment he's standing.

 

They walk down the stairs, with Subaru wondering if he had done a decent job of being his usual self, despite the lingering feeling in his hand.

 

"How was the meeting, Hokke?" Subaru asks, brightly, in hopes that it'll help him dispel his thoughts.

 

"It made me a little tired, for some reason," Hokuto remarks, crossing his arms, thinking on it seriously, and Subaru can't help but smile at him a little.

 

"Anyway, you're probably tired from waiting," he continues, glancing over.

 

"I'm used to it," Subaru replies with a short shrug, hands tucking themselves into his pockets.

 

"Still, thanks," Hokuto tells him, smiling back at him, and for Subaru, it's like sunlight.

 

When they go down the next set of stairs, Subaru feels like his legs are suddenly a lot lighter than usual, and he slows his steps.

 

"Did you forget something? We can go back and get it," Hokuto says, and Subaru's gaze softens, because Hokuto has always been a little perceptive of him, has always been the caring type, and he wonders — hopes — that there's a certain reason behind it all.

 

Subaru hops down the last couple steps, thoughts dwelling on what will happen after this, if things will change drastically, or stay mostly the same, after he says the next few words on his mind.

 

His right hand loosely clenches, grasping onto the last bits of warmth that Hokuto had left there when he had helped pull him up, before he looks at him, eyes twinkling.

 

"I like you a lot, Hokke," Subaru tells him, because somehow, he feels like no other time will do, and his breath catches when it almost feels like the world has stopped.

 

He cries tiny, star-like tears, and Hokuto stares at him, fleetingly at a loss for words, before he takes a couple small steps forward.

 

"Why are you crying?" Hokuto asks, in a somewhat quiet tone, as if he's being cautious, and Subaru glances up, a few more tears falling whenever he blinks.

 

"I"— He hiccups a little, vision slightly blurry and shiny from the tears.

 

"I don't know," Subaru finally tells him, honest, looking slightly confused, because he realizes that he doesn't really know the answer himself, and Hokuto continues staring at him, slightly lost.

 

Eventually, Hokuto muffles a small laugh behind his hand, and Subaru flinches, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed.

 

"W-why are you..." Subaru mutters, hands trying to swipe the tears away from his eyes.

 

"I like you too, Akehoshi," Hokuto tells him, smiling softly, appreciating the quiet glimmer in Subaru's eyes, blue and slightly wavering, like calming waves.

 

"You never would have really noticed though, since you don't look at what's behind you that often," Hokuto continues with shrug, and Subaru only sniffles back in response, unsure of what to say.

 

"But that's what I like about you. Being the type who always faces forward," Hokuto says.

 

"You're, um, kind of being really embarrassing right now," Subaru replies, the last of his tears spilling from his eyes as he glances away.

 

"And I feel like you just called me an idiot just now, in a really nice and indirect way," he points out, an immature sulk on his face.

 

"I might have," Hokuto states, and Subaru sighs, despite the fact that right now, Hokuto's words — Hokuto's presence itself — had been more than enough to set a warm line of reassurance within Subaru's chest.

 

He realizes that the tears may have fallen out of sheer relief, or maybe from the fact that he had finally managed to say it, and that his emotions just couldn't stay trapped in one place.

 

"Oh, and here," Hokuto says, handing Subaru a handkerchief that he had pulled out of his pocket, and Subaru takes it, looking reluctant, and somewhat unsatisfied.

 

"...You know, that was supposed to be the part where you wipe away my tears with like, your sleeves or something," he says, before he can stop himself, and to be honest, he's not all too surprised by the genuine look of confusion on Hokuto's face.

 

"Is that so," Hokuto remarks, already reaching over and patting Subaru's eyes with the slightly warm sleeves of his blazer.

 

"You're"— Subaru frowns, cheeks turning a florid color, and Hokuto tilts his head to the side, puzzled.

 

_You're the idiot here, Hokke_ , Subaru thinks to himself, hands carefully reaching up to hold onto Hokuto's.

 

He glances upward, eyes meeting Hokuto's, and he can't help but laugh a little, because in the end, he's happy, and Subaru thinks that maybe, he might be able to get used to this sort of thing, little by little.

**Author's Note:**

> i've kind of always wanted to write out a confession where subaru ends up crying, i'm sorry subaru ;;;
> 
> sometimes active at: https://twitter.com/kuuroken


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